Post by Ashley @ Sorry, Kid. Your Mom Doesn't Play Well With Others
Dear McDonald's Drive-Thru Efficiency "Experts;
First off, I commend you on coming up with ideas to make the drive-thru lines more efficient. Too bad your ideas suck. According to common sense having two lines in which to order and one line in which to pick up would absolutely work, if you are using the "The Dipshit's Guide to Common Sense". Clearly, those pesky pictures of un-rotten 3 year old chicken nuggets circulating Facebook has knocked you off your game a little and you rushed to step it up. Well, you totally failed.
Since my local McDonald's has put in their extra line, I have yet to get my order in a timely fashion much less get it right. Do you know what it feels like to have to park along a curb to wait for your food? It is like getting called out on the playground for being the fat kid. Like walking out of the bathroom in the middle of a wedding reception walking past the head table and having people point at you because you forgot to un-tuck your skirt from your full-butted ugly underwear. Maybe it is more like having to take a field sobriety test because you are just THAT shitty of a driver. Do you get my point? That it sucks Playing a Will-I-get-side-swiped-by-the-next-person-driving-past-Russian Roulette while waiting for my lunch?
Waiting kind of takes away from the fact I get to skip out on being the chef for that hour. You see, some mom's live for the day they get out of the house and wear real clothes AND they don't have to make someone a sandwich. Not making a kid a sandwich is a BIG DEAL. So you forgot to put my fries in the bag. I have 5 kids and I am cooking the 6th. I can't have a drink, I can't sit in a hot tub and I can't even have a hot dog. So I live for my fries... You should look at this belly, how you you take fries away from that 6 1/2 inch little squirt in there? That is just Wrong...
When I called to inform my double lined McDonald's I was informed that a postcard would be mailed to me for a free fry. What am I supposed to do until then? While I watch every one else eat their fries? It is not like I can sneak one of theirs. That would be like prying a cracker from a homeless man...that just wouldn't fly. So I what do I do? Just wait for the postman to bring that dinky-ass card? Do I cut up my sandwich box and sprinkle a concoction of MSG sugar and salt and you think its all good? Whatever... Just fix the damn lines and deliver my fries.
Sincerely,
The pregnant chick waiting for her postcard.
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