Post by Dani @ Suburbia Interrupted
What’s Luck got to do with it?
(Apparently, a lot)
A few weeks ago I woke up in a seriously horrible mood. Out of pity, hope of a better me afterwards, or simply the mere fact that he is a guy, The Big Guy pulled me into the bedroom, while I was in the middle of compulsively (angrily) cleaning, and banged that seriously horrible mood right out of me. I got Lucky…nothing like the power of an orgasm.
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There was that time, at least 10 years ago, when I got pulled over for going 20 MPH over the speed limit. The Sheriff Officer let me go with a warning…if I promised to call him…as he passed me he phone number. I smiled that smile, gave him that look and got Lucky. No! I never called him. God no! But I did get myself out of a ginormous ticket.
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Now a teen, my then third grade son became extremely ill. After months and months of constant illness, worrisome blood tests and a lime sized lump that formed on his neck, doctors prepped to perform a biopsy, bracing me for the possibility (their belief) that my son had lymphoma. Lucky for us, it was benign.
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That time in New Orleans…Sugar Bowl…Florida State was playing for the National Title…and I was there…in full college pride…and had way too much to drink…and didn’t use protection…Lucky does not do justice to the relief I felt when my regularly scheduled period came…right on time…
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And speaking of periods…I hate them, each and every one. As revenge for my hatred, my period plays tricks on my mind. I become forgetful. For instance, I once returned home after watching two consecutive baseball games. For roughly four hours, I was sitting in the bleachers, tempting the period gods’ fate. See, when I returned home and rushed to change my tampon, I realized I had forgotten to put one in. Luckily, I avoided a major disaster.
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I was driving one of the boys to swim practice when I got the call. Without warning, my OB-GYN said the Down syndrome test results were back and it was positive. I found myself and the boys back at home, me crying hysterically and the boys scared to death. I had to wait three weeks before I could see the specialist. Everything looked normal but the only option to know for sure if my unborn baby had Down syndrome or not was to have an amnio. I declined. After three weeks of crying and worrying and anger and more tears, I realized that I didn’t care. We were Lucky. Diva was born a healthy, OMG I have a girl?! I only know how to raise boys, princess…with a shitload of hair. Seriously. I could put barrettes in her hair at one day old. And I had no indigestion…
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Before the foreclosure crisis became such a thing, the home I was renting went into foreclosure. I freaked out, thought I was going to have to pack me and the kids up overnight and leave. So I went to a real estate attorney who assured me I wouldn’t be moving overnight. Lucky for me, I am anxiety ridden, so, not feeling comfortable about living there any longer, I moved. Soon after moving into the new home, a new neighbor moved in next door to me. A year or so later, I moved…in with my neighbor. To this day, when I am all hormonal and anxiety ridden, I remind him that if it weren’t for my craziness, we would have never met…
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I am counting my blessings and Lucky as hell that I never hurt anyone or got a DUI those times in my 20’s, when I had too much to drink, but drove home anyways. I am not proud of it. I know we all have done it. But let me tell you, I will kick my kid’s asses if they do that instead of calling me or The Big Guy. There’s nothing like becoming a parent for the definition of hindsight to hit you smack on the forehead.
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I feel Lucky that I have good, bad and (shhh!) dirty life experiences to look back upon. Listen, I am no angel. We all have done things we aren’t proud of. Those are what help us mature. And come on…I know I am not the only one who has a dirty memory. You all know what I’m talking about…
And finally…
New to the blogging world, I happened to click on a link that had been tweeted out by a website I had just joined. Fate took over that night and Lucky for me, the link was for a piece written by Tracy (Momaical). I don’t know how long it has been since I first clicked on the link but what I do know, is that she has wound her way into my heart and I am so grateful to have “met” her. Plus, she deals with my crazy emails and family drama. Anyone who can handle that is a keeper friend in my book. Love you Tracy xoxo
Enough about my Luck. It’s now time for you to go and get Lucky*.
*One of those times must involve a mind altering banging.
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