Santa Baby - The Mommy Version

Post by Tracy @ Momaical

Santa Baby,

Slip a Xanax under the tree (or three).

Been an awful stressed girl,

Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

 

Santa baby, 

A little liposuction will do.
Boobs too.
My stretch marks won't disappear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the times that I haven't pissed (alone),
Oh and a month of sleep would be good,
 To help me look the way I should
(ba do be doo)

Santa baby, I wanna maid

One that's - already paid
To clean and cook for all here,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, help prevent me from being bitter;
A sitter
To take care of all mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, fill my stocking with some vino,
Pinot.
A case or two will be fine,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Just ignore my Christmas tree,

The kids "redecorate" it constantly,
I really need to get away
   Before my tenth breakdown today
(ba do be doo)

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little box,
Botox.
I don't mean just one shot!
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Here's to ho-ho-hoping.....

How do I wrap liposuction? And is it safe to ship botulism?