You know how when you are in a relationship that person that "gets" you. When you talk, the words are like the whispers of a thousand pixies caressing their ears and your significant other clings to your every syllable. They are the yin to your yang, the peanut butter to your jelly, the bongos to your naked Matthew McConaughey?
No? Me neither.
Introducing - He Said: She Heard. It's a new installment from two Epistolarians (Tracy @ Momaical and Jen @ Life on the SONny Side). We have teamed up with Brad and James from Dad's Round Table for this snippet on the inner workings of the Male/Female mind. Because somewhere between sounds escaping lips to reaching the cochlea of the recipient - the message gets distorted.
Here are a few of Tracy's:
He Said: "No, I don't mind at all if your parents stay for dinner."
She Heard: Okay, but then I’m going to have a guy’s weekend to make you pay for this few hours with your parents.
He Said: "Honestly, I'm not thinking of anything."
She Heard: I’m thinking about the hot blonde at Starbucks that I’d like to grope.
He Said: "I really can't tell the difference between those two outfits."
She Heard: You look God awful in both of them. Because you’re fat. And no longer hot. Have you seen your stomach? Which is why I’m thinking about the Starbucks girl and not you. Because you’re fat. But, I’ll still grope you. I’m good like that.
He Said: "The guys and I are going golfing tomorrow, we should be done sometime in the afternoon."
She Heard: Don’t plan on me for dinner. Do plan on picking me up from the country club – most likely after the kids are already in bed for the night. Oh, and plan on being groped.
For Tracy's complete list of quips, please check out http://www.momaical.com
Here are a few of Jen's:
For Jen's complete list of quips, please check out http://www.lifeonthesonnyside.com
Also, for the other side of the coin, check out what the guys "heard" from what Jen and I had to say at http://dadsroundtable.com/other/humor/2012/12/she-said-he-heard-a-collaboration-of-wits/
And, feel free to add in some of your own. We'll be happy to let you know what we "hear".
For Tracy's complete list of quips, please check out http://www.momaical.com
Here are a few of Jen's:
HE SAYS:"Honestly, I'm not thinking of anything."
SHE HEARS: “I am quite literally a waste of human space on this overpopulated planet right now who actually has the incredible ability to not think about anything for short bursts of time. Cue the white noise.”HE SAYS: "I really can't tell the difference between those two outfits."
SHE HEARS: “Please don’t ask me that…we both know that you’re going to wear whatever you want to wear anyway. And that you’re going to look hot in it. Win-Win.”HE SAYS:"You're nothing like your mother."
SHE HEARS: “…But based on most of the evolutionary evidence that I’ve witnessed thus far, you probably will be one day. I’m still trying to come to grips with this. I’m hoping that by the time I slowly transform into my father, I will have inherited his poor eyesight and keen selective hearing skills, and then I won’t care either way.” HE SAYS:"No, I don't mind at all if your parents stay for dinner."
SHE HEARS: “I’m just gonna keep this in my back pocket for a while. Like until someone offers me hockey tickets while our kid has the stomach flu…or when the next ‘Call of Duty’ comes out…or when it’s my turn to clean the toilets. You know…a real emergency.”Also, for the other side of the coin, check out what the guys "heard" from what Jen and I had to say at http://dadsroundtable.com/other/humor/2012/12/she-said-he-heard-a-collaboration-of-wits/
And, feel free to add in some of your own. We'll be happy to let you know what we "hear".
0 comments:
Post a Comment