Why You Shouldn't Trust Dr. Google to Treat Your Lady Parts

Post by Kristen @ http://www.peanutlayne.com/

 

Ever suffered from that not so fresh feeling?  Do you scrub and scrub your lady parts, only to dry yourself off and still smell like an undersea aquarium?  Well then this post is for you!

I suffer from a chronic health condition known as IC (Interstitial Cystitis).  IC won’t cause odor in itself, but it does mess up my PH balance down there and cause everything to go all haywire.  I started to notice that I was experiencing an unpleasant odor.   Now i’m a very hygienic person so I foolishly thought I could just scrub the odor away during my evening bath, but much to my horror, the smell would just not go away.

Too embarrassed to call my doctor, I suffered in silence for months.  The smell got worse, and I started having other yucky side effects like pain, burning, and frequent urination.  I know I should’ve just called my doctor, but how do you explain to the receptionist that the reason for your visit is that your poor cooch smells like Gorton’s Fish Sticks?  So I didn’t call. And didn’t call. And still didn’t call.

When my husband started complaining, I knew I had to do something.  So I turned to Dr. Google.  I started reading story after story of women who successfully self treated their chronic episodes of BV (Bacterial Vaginosis) with, get this, yogurt and garlic cloves!

Since I’m not fond of the smell of garlic on my breath, I was too chicken to shove a clove up my hoohaw, so I opted for the yogurt instead.  There I sat on the toilet in my bathroom clutching a brand new container of plain, unsweetened yogurt for dear life.  I stared at the container all bugged eye.  I tried to stick my finger in the container multiple times but it felt dirty and wrong, like I was somehow violating the untainted container of yogurt.  I finally got up the courage and dipped my finger in. I rubbed that shit in good.  It felt cold, slimy and just wrong. After completely coating my privates in yogurt (and squirting some inside for good measure) I waddled to bed.  The next morning I eagerly ran into the bathroom to check on the status.  I no longer smelled like sea life, but let’s just say I traded in one bad smell for another.  Unless you want to smell like a container of milk that has been left on a dashboard in Phoenix, AZ, I do not suggest self treating BV with yogurt.  Trust me on this.

 

So I picked up the phone, told the receptionist I was having signs of an infection and went to my gynecologist.  It turns out I definitely did have a bad case of BV. I was prescribed some antibiotics (that I didn’t have to insert into my poor, already violated vagina) and within a day the odor was completely gone, and all of my other yucky symptoms went away.  So, my advice is don’t be a douchenozzle like me.  When you have an embarrassing medical problem, face your fears and call your doctor. Your real doctor, not Dr. Google.