By April @ First Time Mom & Dad
Dear My Pre Baby Body,
I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. It hurts to look in the mirror and not see you. It hurts to look in the closet and see all of your cute clothes and shoes just lying there, collecting dust. What hurts the most though, is breaking my promise to you.
Nearly 22-months ago when I got pregnant we had our talk. I told you that we had to take some time off while I grew my baby. I promised to keep in touch, and to take great care of myself, so we could be together not long after the baby arrived. Please know, I meant those words with all of my heart. I just could not have foreseen the insane amount of craziness that took place inside my mind, body and hormones while growing the baby. Things got out of control. Fast.
There was no way for me to know I was going to get such a raging sweet tooth while I was pregnant. But I did, and that my daring, was what sent me spiraling out of control. When cupcakes and cookies were in the room I lost all sense of what healthy nutritious eating was. In fact, my inner pregnancy demon told me I needed those things for the baby. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I believed him. I believed that demon so much so, that I even ate cupcakes and cookies well after the birth of Oliver. I failed miserably at my promise to you. I am so very sorry. More than you could ever imagine.
Now here I am, about to celebrate the first birthday of my son without you. I cannot believe you will not be here with me. I was sure by now we would be back together. I am nursing for Christ sake! That was supposed to trump all cupcake and cookie binges, and make the “pounds melt off!” Well, clearly, since I am writing this letter to you, the pounds have not melted off.
Please believe me when I say I want you back. Do you really think I enjoy the fact that my thunder thighs rub together so vigorously when I walk, that I am sure I smelled smoke the other day! Yes, my pants were about to catch on fire. My arms are so out of shape and jiggly, that the fat on my arm is still waving it’s goodbyes, well after I am finished! And worst of all, my ass cheeks are no longer two, but look like a uni-butt in jeans. There is no more definition any where on my body. Anywhere.
My old friend, I have hit the limit. I need you back, and fast. I have already taken steps to get us back together, no more cookies or cupcakes until we can enjoy them together. I am walking and doing yoga three days a week, and I am weaning the baby off the boobs. Once I am finished nursing, I promise to do everything I can to get back to you as ASAP.
I love you. I need you, and cannot stand another day looking in the mirror and not seeing you. Today, I make an unbreakable pinkie swear promise to you that we will be back together by summer. No way are we going to spend one more summer apart. No way am I going to spend one more summer in a muumuu cowering in the shadows at the pool. My love, I promise I have not forgotten about you, or my promise to you. Soon my darling, we will be one again.
With all of my love,
April
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