Thankful Series - Go Merrily!

Pushing the Button…

Post by Mary @http://gomerrily.blogspot.com

It's your typical story of boy meets girl, proposes, and they get married. All in 6 months. Because let's face it, I had to get a commitment from him before he found out just how crazy I am. We have found out a lot about each other (and ourselves) since then. Turns out, Hubs is the kind of guy who sets his alarm only for times that end in a 0 or 5, turns it off right when it goes off, gets up, makes a To Do list, and starts on his day. I, on the other hand, am the kind of girl who is fine with setting an alarm for 5:43, hits snooze until he yells, "My God! Get up or turn that off!!", and only puts things on her To Do list that she's already done so she has something to cross off. Mine's really more of an Accomplishment List.

 

Hub's also really good with right and left, and it drives him crazy when I yell, "Turn right. No left. GO THAT WAY!" and point. At one time, he put stickers up on the windshield that said, "right" and "left," but it didn't really help. Thank goodness for Google Maps navigating for us now because I think he'd HAD it with me yelling, "Just turn down the blue road!" I kept trying to explain to him that THIS way is DOWN which is MY way which means right, and THAT way is UP which is HIS way which means left. But he says it's difficult to take me seriously since he's seen me bang my head into the steering wheel while sneezing and then cry. He might have a point.

Anyway, before we even started this mind-boggling process of raising little humans, my most favorite moment in the history of US happened. Seriously. I cannot forget this. Every time I think about it, I laugh hysterically to myself. It is my most favorite story EVER. (Hubs whole-heartedly disagrees. He HATES this story.)

 

It was the first time we went grocery shopping. We had to pick out our laundry detergent. It seemed so important to pick something we both would like. This would be OUR laundry smell from now on. So I pick up the Tide, and I start sniffing them all to find something not too girlie and not too boyish … I found something I liked, and I say to Hubs, “Ooh. Smell this one!” and I’m all excited because this could be it! This could be OUR smell! And just as he is walking over to smell it, I pass gas. Bad. Seriously. And right then, he leans in and takes a BIG OL’ SNIFF and jerks back with a horrified look of disbelief on his face, and whisper-yells, “Oh my GOD!! That smells like SHIT!!”

And I lost it. I practically hyperventilated laughing and trying to apologize and trying to get him to give the detergent another chance. He refused. I had to pick one on my own. And he still won’t readily smell things when I ask him.

 

He’s dealt with a lot of those infamous “Mary Moments” over the years. The times when he tries to be supportive, but witnesses my most recent disaster and says, (usually while shaking his head at me in disbelief), “You are the dumbest smart person I know.” Pair that with, “Seriously? You didn’t see the way that was going to turn out?” and “MY GOD! How many spoons can one person use?!” and you have the three sentences he says to me most often. And I don’t know how many spoons I use, or why there are always so many to be washed, but seriously … we go through like the entire spoon section of our silverware drawer almost daily. And spoons are the piece they give you the most of … it makes no sense. I think we live in a weird spoon-vortex. But, hey, if it’s just spoons we’re arguing over, I can totally live with that.

Since we started having kids, Hubs has been the most wonderful Daddy ever … but in waaaaaay over his head. But then again, who isn’t??? Between the crap that I do, and their antics, Hubs used to come home from his five days away and be overwhelmed. He once said, “You know those experiments with the monkeys where they would put a button in the cage, and if the monkey pushed the button, he would be shocked? So eventually, the monkey learns not to push the button? I’m like a retarded monkey. I can’t stop pushing the button. I keep thinking this time it will be different...” And then he would hang his head a bit despondently, and I would rub his back to try to make him feel better … because after all, he’s MY retarded monkey.

Just the other week, though, I posted a picture of my bag all packed for when we go to the hospital.

Ta-Dah!

Hubs (who was off in between flights) commented back and forth with me on it:

Me: Almost done packing the hospital bag! Yes, Sir's outfits are in Ziplocs ... I don't want Hubs to get something out and possibly misplace a sock or not see the coordinating hat or maybe I'm just too OCD at times. Yes, it's a lot, but I change their clothes every chance I get. Plus, I let the girls pick out his first outfits, and they were pretty set on "extra ... just in case" ... and I can always just toss the Ziploc into the diaper bag once we're home to save a step then! It works on so many levels!

Hubs: I'm going to go with OCD.

Me: I thought you would, Hubs. I also have this whole conversation in my head of how it's going to go when you get home and realize we're out of Ziplocs. That might be the one level this doesn't work on! So in case you need a Ziploc ... we don't have any ... unless you want me to empty these and hang them to dry over the kitchen sink like a little old lady would. But then we'd be right back to stressing about the lost sock or non-coordinating hat.

Hubs: I'll just stop by the store and get some more.

Me: Yay! Also, while you're out, we also need sushi and tacos.

 

Hubs: I would, but it's Sunday and Taco Bell isn't open late. No 4th meal tonight.

Me: *sigh* The universe is against me ... it's things like this that make me feel it's necessary to protect myself against potentially missing socks and hats. Hence, the Ziplocs.

Hubs: And this is why I'm not even surprised when I come home anymore...I prepare myself for anything on the drive home.

And there is it!!! Almost 8 years and 4 kids later ... GROWTH. He has stopped pushing the button and expecting different results. My husband is no longer a retarded monkey.*Happy Dance*

If you want more on Hubs, read A Poor Hubs Story or While the Cat's Away! 

Now if only I could grow up ...

And I totally think this is what we would look like if we ever became bandits...

Read more and discover why she is the Original Awesomesauce at Mary's blog: Go Merrily! @ http://gomerrily.blogspot.com

You can also follow her on Twitter @GoMerrilyMary