An Anonymous Post by an Epistolarian
When I was younger I did some things I'm not proud of, I had an affair with a married man, he had a child. After 6 years he left her, and I am still married to that man today. Fast forward some years and that child is grown, an adult and knows the story. We were pretty open about it. If not detailed.
Her mother and I are friends , all is forgiven, we've moved on. My husband has a somewhat strained but mostly civil relationship with her, we all get along for the sake of the child/adult. We also have 2 more children, we are all one big happy unconventional family......mostly.
Lately things have started to unravel... Our daughter has a drinking problem, we know this but she refuses to admit it. She still functions well but completely changes when she drinks. Things happen, drama happens, all the time. I've lost count how many iPhones she's lost on drunken escapades.
I'm no angel, I drank heavily in my 20s too but I didn't have the drama, sure I did dumb drunk shit I had to apologise for and I was embarrassed about but there was no drama.
This girl, our daughter with 3 parents, seems to attract it AND when it arrives she thrives on it. Her own drama, other peoples drama, people who are dramatic ..... she did it as her major in high school! Are you getting the picture?
Drama makes her feel good, she needs to feel important and creating drama gives her that feeling, she becomes the centre of attention. She has openly admitted she's high maintenance. It's always been this way. We deal with the current drama and move on...........
She got on a plane home Tuesday but before she left, she and dad had a heart to heart, she cried and argued... Dad didn't, minor drama.
Last night, while she was still flying, her mother contacted me saying the truth must come out! well I was confused... truth about what? She types, the lies have to stop... to which I answer I have no idea what you're talking about, she explains and I respond blankly.
It turns out she's been pumping her dad for information lately about some deep dark secrets she thinks she should know, mostly when she's drunk, she embarrassed herself at a dinner recently in front of friends and clients. Then she went out, got smashed, a 'friend' stole her iPhone and proceeded to hack her facebook and threaten exposure of some illicit material. We get a 5am phone call from OZ to help shut it down... MAJOR DRAMA.
She was too hungover to come and celebrate her dad's birthday. Imagine if we did that to her.
The girl has issues.
Here's the thing...... I really love her but I'm done. I can't do the drama any more.
Even coming over here to sell her place because she's decided to stay in OZ, resulted in drama because she lost her green card and had to extend her 2 week stay for 2 months to get a new one.
I'm hoping that the drama stops or at least we're not involved being 16,000 miles away.
I'm upset that she's pitting her mother against us, I'm very upset that she has left in her wake, drama we have to deal with, stirring up the past. I believe it's none of her business, her mother disagrees, our daughter thinks these deep dark secrets will solve all her problems. More Drama....... I didn't really sleep last night, I'm really quite upset. My husband said to let it go, don't buy into the drama but I'm pissed about it.
So here's my problem. Do I let it go and stay out of it? DO I email her and tell her how upset I am and she has to stop? Silence is often the best line of defence in these situations but if she doesn't know it hurts me, she'll never stop doing it.
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