Holidays are supposed to be happy but I'm not.

An Anonymous Post by an Epistolarian

 

Holidays are supposed to be happy but I'm not.

 

I hate how you've ruined this year for the family.

I hate how you've ruined the holidays for this year.

 

I don't understand. I really don't.

Why did you have to do what you did.

 

I can't even have a good Thanksgiving because I know you're not here.

Although I miss you I can't tell you how much I hate you.

 

I can't do Christmas because it just won't be the same.

I hate you for ruining it.

The family times we're supposed to have.

The happy times.

The eating times.

 

With the holidays coming up do you know how much it hurts.

Do you even think about your family?

You think it was worth it?

Ruining everyone's life? Including your own?

 

Was it worth it?

Was she worth it?

Now you're just sunk in a deep dark hole.

With no one to help you climb up.

Because forget it. I'm not going to be there. You can climb up yourself.

I'm done helping.

I'm done with the "I promise I'll change"

I'm done with the fake "I'm sorry."

Change and then I'll believe you.

No more trust for you.

No more tears for you.

I'm done...I'm done with it all.

When everyone is smiling and enjoying their holiday spirit...

I'll be wishing they were all dead with their smiles because

yeah ...you ruined it for me ....

 

I'll be pretending to be smiling but I really won't be.

I'll be pretending to do the Christmas and Thanksgiving celebration but hating you for ruining it.

I'll be pretending to enjoy myself but I won't because I'll be imagining you in that cold, three walled place with bars....

 

Imagining that you're decorating those bars with greenery and lights and celebrating your own Christmas.

 

Thanks for making the holidays this year dark and gloomy.

I hate you.